Are We Wired to Drive in City Traffic?
Maybe
you have a family member or a loved one who drives a bit too fast, trail gates
any and every vehicle in front of him, or is always jockeying for the fastest
lane, only to swear, bang the steering wheel and roughly switch out of the lane
when it slows. Sound familiar? It should. At one time or another it sounds like
almost any of us.
Where
does all of this frustration come from when we drive? Why are our emotions so
primed and at the explosive as soon as we get behind the wheel? We know that
our trip will take longer than we expect. We know that we will be affected by
someone else's bad or slow decision-making skills. So what gives?
Many
driving enthusiasts will disagree with this, but bear with me. Maybe we
shouldn't be driving at all. Sure, driving is freedom, and as started above,
this is the land of the free. But are we really free when there are more cars
on a single major suburban roadway than there are people living in all of
Montana? Maybe driving in Montana speaks to freedom, but not so in many of our
major cities.
In my
practice, when working with individuals who deal with anger and anxiety issues,
early on the talk early on will touch on their emotional reactions stemming
from driving. A common theme seems to be emerging, specifically a feeling of
lack of respect. Our cars are advertised
as cocoons of luxury, able to shut everything out. And in our society, if one
can afford luxury the assumption is one should be afforded respect. Advertising
aside, many of my clients report feelings of loss of respect in the society as
a whole. Couple this with the isolating effect of a sealed off automobile and
one can easily gravitate towards self-interest, i.e. lack of consideration for
others. It seems to boil down to simple math: How much you drive x How little
respect you feel on the road = How angry you get while driving). To mitigate
the effects of the equation, you can start by dividing by how much you prepare
yourself mentally for the drive.
Driving
on the open road is not the same as driving in rush hour traffic. For now,
however, we're looking at whether we're evolutionarily equipped to drive in
traffic. Our cars are powerful symbols of ourselves and highway or rural driving
can be a very satisfying experience. City traffic is not designed for a road
full of alpha drivers. As such, many individuals must work diligently at
putting aside their instincts to dominate. There are many social settings in
which we need to act in a more socially acceptable manner. It is driving,
however, where our desires to be more socially acceptable seems to break down.
There
are a couple tools drivers can use to help overcome the impulse towards anger
while driving. Firstly, we all know, before
we get in the car, that during our drive someone in front of us or near us will
make a bad choice or delay us by not knowing what choice to make. If we acknowledge
this in advance we are then emotionally prepared for it. It is a fact of
driving in the city that we will be delayed or narrowly escape a fender bender
almost every time we get behind the wheel. So ask yourself: Why am I getting
mad? If you allow enough time for the drive plus delays caused by others all
you need do is take a deep breath and acknowledge that you knew it all along
and you were ready for them. While we
are not wired to be docile and non-frustrated during rush hour, it is by far to
our greater good to try and remain calm to drive another day.
Robert (Bob)
Ryan is an Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Psychotherapist and Registered Art
Therapist in St Petersburg FL. He serves individuals and couples in the entire state
of Florida with caring personal respect regardless of race, creed or gender identification.
His insurance-friendly practice can be reached at rbrt.j.ryan@outlook.com.
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