Caring Psychological Counseling

  If your high school aged students are lucky enough to attend one of our area’s more affluent high schools, you’re familiar with the pressures to excel placed on many students within these schools and how the phrase “failure is not an option” has long been replaced by an attitude of “average is not an option.” What has also become clear in recent years is that it is not so much the unrelenting pressure to succeed that has such a deleterious effect on our teenagers as it is the perception by them that they lack options if they don’t measure up. Failure to attain the highest grades and accomplishments equates to total failure. Where does this message come from?  Yes, of course, from parents eager to see their children take advantage of every opportunity. We are all familiar with highly successful adults who were driven to be the best at all costs. Individuals such as Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys or Tiger Woods. Both paid a high price for trading in their childhoods for succes...

There are any number of reasons for why we fall into the trap of being what Alfred Adler (1870-1937) termed over-protective parents. The first being, this was how we were raised. Growing up with a model of parenting where everything was done for the child was and is a symbol of privilege. It would seem only natural for us to give to our children every right and privilege we ourselves enjoyed. Another reason, and maybe most common, is anxiety. Anxiety and fear are closely related emotions. There are an abundance of reasons to experience both as we bring children into this world. Since it is neither easy nor attractive to watch our children fail, do poorly, make mistakes or physically hurt themselves, many parents choose not to experience the anxiety or fear of being mere observers of their children’s lives when they can feel more in control if they jump in and help. In extreme cases, parents who already live with high levels of anxiety are almost incapable of letting the unknown natur...

Contrary to the label, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), this disorder’s symptoms often include a hyper awareness of internal and external stimuli, not a deficit of attention. It is in the outward appearance of an individual’s actions and inability to stay focused where the descriptor “Deficit” comes from. Individuals living with ADHD are continuously shifting their attention from one thought to the next in an often exhausting whirlwind of ideas and activities. They tend to be overly attuned to their surroundings, thus unable to hold focus on a single task.  In children the first signs are often an indefatigable energy, moving non-stop from one half completed task to another. Symptoms that individuals with ADHD exhibit may include:           Boredom with tasks after the newness wears off.           Difficulty connecting emotionally with or having empathy for others, even loved ones.         ...

  Adapted by permission from Marina Williams, MA, LMHC No one wants to waste their time, and let's face it, those copays add up, so I decided to distribute this article to help you get the most out of your counseling. As a therapist, I love helping clients get better. Some of the changes I've witnessed have been simply amazing and I consider myself fortunate to have played a part in a person completely altering their lives for the better. Because I want all of my clients to be able to experience this type of change, I asked myself, why is it that some clients improve so quickly and dramatically while others linger in therapy for years without making any real improvements? Was it something special about the nature of these clients in particular? As it turns out, the characteristics that make someone an "ideal" client are quite simple and anyone can implement them. I've found that just sharing this information with my clients has caused all my clients overall to...

Aging is not a disorder, though for many healthy adults aging is treated as just that, a disorder. As we age what we may lose in muscle mass and flexibility, we gain in foresight and the ability to see connections between the past and the present. We may lose a bit of that skip in our step, but for healthy adults aging can be a time of increased respect from coworkers, family and most importantly from oneself. Those of us who have “been around the block” know the pitfalls as well as the shortcuts to getting a job done and when it’s time to forget the job and take time out for ourselves.  So why do so many individuals place so much emphasis on fighting aging. For men and women alike there is the ever present media hype of beauty is only for the young. That one has to be young and beautiful to be admired. Most of us know, deep in our hearts that those that we admire most, are most likely not young and their beauty comes from something deeper than appearances. Many individuals lea...

Most lay people have heard of Sigmund Freud and his Psychoanalytical method. It is the quintessential man-on-the-couch method mocked in so many New Yorker cartoons. Adlerian Psychology on the other hand is almost unknown beyond the professional world of Counseling Psychology. However Adler’s concepts are every bit, if not more, a part of mainstream life as are Freud’s theories of the Id, Ego and Super Ego. “Adler's style of treatment was warm, gentle, and creative, not cool, aggressive, and systematic,” (http://www.adlerian.us/) Individual Psychology is the name Alfred Adler gave to his theory of personality and his system of therapy . By individual he meant that the individual is indivisible (the original Latin meaning) w hich was in contrast to Freud's division of the personality into segments. The 5 basic principles of Adlerian Psychology (formulated by Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs) are as follows. 1. SOCIALLY EMBEDDED : We are social beings who want to "belong" –...

Older generations of men, notably our post WWII males, come to therapy reluctantly, if at all. Many men today are not so standoffish when it comes to therapy. However, men still tend to wait longer to seek help and guidance for their emotional issues than do women. At times, when men seek counseling, they are looking for and often need quick results. Frequently, men come to counseling after being persuaded by a spouse or employer to seek help for a lack of emotional connection, anger management or substance abuse. Opening up to a therapist does not always come naturally and often men prefer instead to rely on stoicism. Why do so many men close down when the situation calls for an emotional response? For an answer to that we have to go back to that older WWII and post-war generation of men, the generations who set the example for today’s middle aged males, who in turn are setting the example for younger men. The last World War changed the landscape for men in this country for all time...